Wednesday, September 12, 2007

THOU SHALT NOT SPIT


I was in Smalltown, USA yesterday running an errand for my hubby. I'm not going to mention the name of the small town but let's just say that it was an hours' drive from here and the population is about 3000 people. I' m not even going to go into the details of why I was there. Because, well, to be honest, you would push that big 'ol X button and go on over to BooMama's Blog for a good laugh. I know you would. Don't deny it.


So...I am in this small office building and I notice a sign posted over the water fountain. I stopped. Read it again just to be sure that my menopausal self read it right the first time. Yep. I did. It states very plainly : DO NOT SPIT in the water fountain. Huh? I ask you my fellow Siestas--is this a social habit of which I am not aware? Did I miss something growing up in East Texas? Or is this a practice common in some circles?


Well, after I read the fine print: Look around--cameras are watching from both directions I had the biggest urge to SPIT IN THE WATER FOUNTAIN . Of course I refrained, ladies. Because after all, I am a well reared Southern gal who didn't even have the word "spit" in her vocabulary until she gave birth to two sons. (Ahem)

The sweet lady in the office must have seen me looking at the sign, because she came out of her office and explained that she had been the one to make the sign. "Do people really expectorate (spit) in your water fountain?" I asked. "Oh yes, honey. Just last week I had to call the plumber to come unclog the thing. It was so full of tobacco juice that it just kept overflowing everywhere. The plumber called us out here to show us what he cleaned out of it and it was pretty disgusting."
This--as I choked back my strawberry pop-tart and excused myself to the ladies room. Where, by the way, there was a SIGN that read: Please close the door behind you. HELLO? Is that sign really necessary too? Do ladies need to be told to close the bathroom door in a public restroom. Hmmm...

Needless to say, I was happy to load myself into my minivan and hoof it home--where (can I get an amen here?) I don't have a water fountain. And if I did, you can bet it would not be used as a spittoon. Know what I'm sayin'?

Until tomorrow my five faithful readers,
Jan


Uplifting stories from a Mom's heart