Itsy Bitsy Arachnid

Okay.

It's 11:52 and I've usually been asleep for at least two and half hours by now. But...a lousy pair of spiders are keeping me from my much needed beauty sleep. Today at lunch, Hubs came home to check on a pump in the yard. It keeps water from running into the front door when it rains for forty days and nights--much like it has here.
So...Hubs lifts the lid so he can stick his hand TWELVE OR SO INCHES into the abyss of pumpdom when he says, "Wow, look how black that spider is. I've never seen one like that." Then I say, "IT'S A BLACK WIDOW! GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!" Then Hubs says, "I don't think so. It doesn't have the red mark." Then I scream, "IT'S ON HER BELLY GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!" Still not believing his wife, Hubs pokes it with a stick and guess what? IT'S A BLACK WIDOW AND HER TWIN SISTER IS ABOUT 4 INCHES FROM HER.

I haven't moved that fast in YEARS, my two friends. YEARS...

Let me just say that half a can of RAID was used on those two arachnid mamas from Hades. And let me also say that one of them was so stinking big, the Hubby Foot of Death had to squish her back into the earth from which she came.

And all of this on EARTH DAY.

Blessings,
jan


p.s. Always look before you put your hand in a dark, damp, hole. Those black widows are busy eating their Hubs for lunch :)

Cornell--Ever Heard of It?

Yes...........it's back! The OFFICE.

Okay, we took bets at our house. Will Andy say, "Cornell--ever heard of it?"

How about Dwight's date, huh? Not exactly Miss America.

Or what about a hostess who announces that supper will be ready in three hours? Yikes!

And what about Jim? I thought he might blow beets (sorry Dwight) when he took a whiff of Jan's candles.

But my favorite part of tonight was when Jan tried to get Jim to dance with her to that pathetic music.

Yes...............it's back! The OFFICE

So, girls, what was your favorite part of tonight's episode?

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY

Okay, I HAVE to complain. I don't do it very often. But I am SO SICK OF RAIN I COULD THROW UP. There...I said it. Well, wrote it anyway. Seriously, flooding is now a major concern for so many people here. They opened the flood gates at the dam. Hubs and I actually saw it one time many moons ago--it is powerful.

So, enough about rain. I am one excited chickadee. My BFF and I are going to take the ENTIRE day and shop. Yes, I am going to ignore laundry, toilets and other household duties which require my attention and ENJOY a day of browsing the quilt stores. When I've spent my wad on fabric, I'm moving on to clothes. I've lost some weight and require some new duds.

Since I haven't really been out of the house all week because of the rain, I AM GOING FOR IT...

Perhaps I'll have pics tomorrow.

Enjoy the sunshine where you are :)

Jan

MY THREE MEN

Check it out: THREE MEN AND A MOM plus one dog!

Here is our Easter picture complete with dog in lap. Every Easter (when we remember) we dust off the tripod and pose as soon as we get home from church. It's the only time we're all (halfway) dressed up. The family Easter pics are usually hilarious simply because we can't take it too seriously. There is just something unnatural about Hubs setting the timer and running for the chair. We all crack up!

And this year, we had Ozzie to contend with. The other pictures included his "plume tail" in the foreground. Hubs finally gave in and put him in his lap. You can't believe how many lint roller squares it took to remove the dog hair from his navy jacket and gray pants.

All in all, it was a wonderful Easter. A great day to end the week of Spring Break with my THREE MEN.

Blessings for a wonderful week,
Jan

p.s. For the life of me, I can't rid of this last picture! Help!

I DID IT

Well, I have completed a life goal...I finished the book that I have been writing off and on for 5, count them, 5 long years! And let me just say that it is only by God's grace that I was able to do it.

Being a stay at home mom for the last 20 years (am I that old?) has been such a joy. I cherish each and every memory--joyous and painful alike. After all, that is how God sharpens us, is it not? Never in all those years did I think I could actually write a novel--start to finish. I have a terrible habit of starting things and not sticking with them. Honestly, I never dreamed that I would still be blogging...

But, I did it. God used writing to help me through the death of my precious mother. She was diagnosed with brain cancer in May of 2002 and after two surgeries and a lot of recuperating with my family, she went home to Jesus in September of that same year. I thought it would be fun, for my sons, to be able to read about some of my family's wacky stories so I penned them.

One thing led to another and lo and behold I have 82,000 words that comprise a novel.

Wait 'til You Hear What I Heard is the title. It's Christian fiction (humor) and takes place in a small east Texas town, a small Baptist church, and a flower shop. (Betty's Bloomers) It is told from the perspective of an eleven year old girl who is coming of age in the seventies. Lots of DIPPITY DO, AQUA NET HAIRSPRAY, AND COCA COLA :)

Now, all I have to do is find a publisher! Honestly...if the Lord wants it published He'll publish it. He's opened some writing doors already.

I hope you Siestas have a wonderful Easter holiday praising our risen Saviour!

Jan

Complete (well almost) Meltdown

I'm standing in the make-up aisle of Wal-Mart searching for a tube of mascara. My eyelashes are NAKED because my mascara is doubling as dust at the moment. I'm feeling a bit sassy because I clipped a 3.00 coupon out of Sunday's paper for my brand. I'd do the math here, but math and I do not get along.

I'm looking at every line of make-up known to mankind but for the life of me I can't find my mascara. Then--fear sets in. What if they quit making it? I can't switch now! I've been using the same brand since the 8th grade!

A sales associate in a bright blue May I Help You? vest says, "Can I help you find something?"
She's all of 17 and doesn't even NEED mascara--the nerve. I'm clutching my coupon for dear life and say, "I can't find my mascara. I've been wearing the same one since the 8th grade and I'm afraid they've stopped making it." Then she says, "Which one are you looking for, ma'am?" I show her the coupon and say, "It's hot pink with a green top. You can't miss it--it's been around since 1972." She takes the coupon and says "Ma'am this is a Cover Girl coupon. You're looking for Maybelline." After I scrape my mouth and dignity off the floor, I thank her and shuffle to the end of the aisle like Tim Conway.

If that wasn't enough, they were out of VERY BLACK.

The nerve...

Blessings,
Jan

What's Wrong with This Picture?

What's wrong with this picture?

The furry friend on the right ATE the pool cover.

Not really...not the whole cover...just the straps

that hold it in place over winter. Hubs and sons spent last winter retying straps each time Ozzie went out for a bathroom break and a chew. (pun intended)

What can I say? We caved in and left it off. Could you be mad at THAT FACE?

I didn't think so.

Blessings,

Jan & Oz